Mans Best Friend

Alex,



It wasn’t my own plan for you to come into my life, but God had a bigger plan for the both of us. I went to Teterboro Animal Shelter three years ago to donate blankets, with no intention of bringing home a friend. I was walking up and down the endless isles of animals just like you who were looking for a home and a second chance at life. But they weren’t just like you, because you were different… so different that you made me stop right in my tracks.


You are a Pit-bull; 85 solid lbs of a Pit-bull to be exact. In fact, I looked twice to double check the breed; wondering if they had mistakenly brought in a wild bear. But it wasn’t your size that made me stop, it was your aura. Inside the 85 lbs that you were, and underneath your beautiful black and white spotted coat, was a beautiful soul bursting out of its seams. The sign was loud in clear in red bolded letters: “DO NOT PUT HANDS INSIDE OF CAGE.”


I didn’t think twice when I read these words. A normal person would assume the odds were against them in making it out in one piece. I found a hole big enough in the cage to let me take a chance. I lowered my palm slowly into your cage, but before I could get close enough to touch you, you had embraced me first. You rested your big head on my small little palm, and looked up at me. Your eyes were dark brown, and so very kind. Chills ran through me as we locked eyes. You didn’t take your eyes off me, and I didn’t take my eyes off you for minutes on end. I knew then in that moment that this was sacred. I had to have you.



It took a solid month to adopt you, with interrogating questions from the shelter such as “why do you want a dog with cropped ears?” With the horrible reputation your breed has, they must have wondered if I had plans on fighting you. Their assumption was whoever owned you before must have tried to make you a fighter, and you weren’t what they trained you out to be.



That’s because you weren’t born to fight, you were born to love. It always hurt me when I would look at you; wondering where you’ve came from, or where you’ve been. I wonder who had hurt you in your seven years before you came into my life. Knowing someone hurt you, hurt me twice as much. And when I had those thoughts, I hugged you a little harder and longer than usual.

The shelter even asked me if I had any pets. Because of course, with the horrible stereotype of Pitt-bulls, they had assumed you were dog aggressive. I have pets. I have two pugs. But, I lied. They told me the ASPCA would come to my house to check. I said that would be just fine. And as soon as I said that, I put a call into my mom. I told her “Listen, don’t be mad. I fell in love with a dog. He’s not dog aggressive; in fact I know he wouldn’t hurt a thing. So, hide the pugs.” [Click.] And I was right, the three of you were the best of friends.


You taught me so many things. First, you taught me to fight for what you love. But the most important thing of all that you taught me was unconditional love. You followed me into every room I went into. Actually, I don’t think there was one time at home that I didn’t pee in solitude. If I walked a simple three feet, you walked them too. And if I turned around after those three little feet, as did you. Finally, you taught me you need no words to love. It amazed me how an animal could not utter a single word, yet could love and be loved so deeply.



It was your eyes. There was something in them, something that was felt. It was in them when we first locked eyes, and it never left. It encompassed all heart, soul, kindness, peacefulness. To be honest, I felt that you were my guardian angel. I kept those thoughts to myself, not thinking anybody could believe a dog could be much more. Until my friend said to me, “his eyes are…human-like.” And it was then I knew that I wasn’t alone in the great depth that I thought of you.



I remember pulling up to my house and from a far, I saw you laying on my bed..yet another endless night of you waiting up for me to come home. From then on, when I would come home late at night, I knew your eyes found mine even through the darkness.

I’ve always loved all animals, and I love my pugs too. But you were something special. You weren’t just the throw-the-toy kind of dog that makes you laugh and cuddles with you. Actually, you were too big to cuddle. But you laid as close as you could. And you didn’t even kiss much, either. But you loved much. What made you special was the feeling of love you emitted, and the stare of protection you gave me for three blessed years.


You got cancer shortly after I had adopted you. I’ll never forget coming home to a pool of blood, and even in that pool of blood, you walked towards me as strong as a horse and gave me a kiss. They had told me you had 3 months to live. Well, you showed them, didn’t you? You lived longer than 3 months, you lived 3 years. At one point, you were called the “Miracle dog” at Oradell Animal Hospital, being tumor-free for over a year. The only miracle there was, was the miracle of you in my life. Medication didn’t cure you, I know love did…as it cured me, too.

 Three years later passed, and June 7th, 2010 came. You were weaker now, and I knew it. We got up in the morning for a walk. You couldn’t make it up the hill at first, and I told you, “Alex, its okay, we’ll go back inside.” You wouldn’t budge. It took you ten minutes, but you made it up that hill. You amazed me.


I had spent the day with you, going for what would be your last car ride, as you propped your black and white nose out of the car to breathe your last breath of fresh air. We stopped at my dad’s office too, and you and I ate lunch together on his floor. My dad, the biggest neat freak in the world, didn’t care at all as you slobbered all over. He too, knew you were leaving us soon.


I came back from our school field trip, and you were lying on the downstairs floor with my mom and her friend Jack. We locked eyes then for what would be the last time. I saw your pain so much it was as if it ran through me. In that moment, I was weak. I kneeled down in a quick embrace and grazed your head. I went upstairs to go to sleep, and set my alarm for 7am to spend the morning with you, because I knew it would be your last before the doctor saw you. Well, the morning never came for you, because you passed away before it. All alone.


I will never forgive myself for that. I know if I was sick, you wouldn’t ever leave my side. You wouldn’t take your eyes off me, or let them close to sleep. It pains me beyond words to know you took your final breaths alone. I never got to say goodbye. So if you can hear these words please know this: From the beginning…I didn’t save you, you saved me. And up until the end…I was a better person, because I was loved by you. Thank you for being my best friend, for your protection and everlasting love that has now forever encompassed my heart and soul.


“Dogs are the most amazing creatures, because they give unconditional love. They are the role model for being alive."


The right side of the bed is still yours. I love you.


- Nicolette